Mental Meandering

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So, Palin’s daughter is pregnant. This concerns me. Did McCain not know? Was he not prepared for the onslaught of criticism? This, IMO, is definitely not a sign of Good Judgement.

Regarding Palin herself. Initially when she was selected, I was afraid that people would say,”She’s a mother, how can she rear children and run the nation”. It is a valid concern, most men still do not shoulder childrearing responsibilities like women do. Though having money means she can afford a nanny etc and her husband can be primary parent. But those opposed will point out that momhood and a highpowered career are hard to balance.

With her having a disabled child (or is Special Needs the term of choice?), that adds another aspect. Her daughter being pregnant, to me, is the final straw. “How can she run the country if she cant run her family?” “If she were at home where she belonged instead of chasing her dreams, maybe her daughter wouldn’t have gotten knocked up”.

What does this say for family values? Certain people want to paint children who have sex as Bad and Immoral. Either they cease to frame all extramarital pregnancy as the irresponsibility of the immoral, or they accept that they have no monopoly on Accepted Behavior. Good girls and boys have sex.

But the Palin child, like the Spears and Knowles girls before her, is being pushed into an early marriage. A marriage that will fail. It will. The marriage will not improve the life or future of any of the parties, it will merely deflect some attention from the fact that their daughter is a “slut”. Lord forbid she be a Baby Mama.

While I am not opposed to young marriages, I think in our society they don’t really work. Hell, do ANY marriages work in this society??

While there is often a lot of talk about the dysfunction of certain families and cultures, I think young unwed mothers probaly have a better shot if they live with their parents and are supported that way, than thrust into a world that requires way more education than a 16 year old has, in order to make a decent living.

I am not a fan of the nuclear family. It is a valid family structure, but not the only family structure and I would not call it ideal.

The problem with teen parenting is not a problem of maturity. Teenagers have become parents since forever ago.  The problem is societal.

1. In the USA we idealize childhood and adolescence. Americans, especially men, are often children way into their 20’s. They are not being raised to be fully functional adults at 18. In fact, there are people who bristle at the suggestion that their 19 year old college student child is an adult and should be treated like one.

So American teenagers are often unprepared to do anything or be responsible for anything other than their own amusement.

Most teens are quite capable of learning to be good parents.

2. It takes a long time to be financially secure in the US. In order to make a living one must prepare a long time, and that prep time is taking longer and longer.

We are attempting to delay adulthood for our chldren, because it is frustrating for them to be adults, yet unable to support themselves. This does not mean young parenthood is in itself bad, it means it is financially difficult in a nuclear family of two young parents and a child.

3. The nuclear family seems to be the only recognized form of family.

In many societies, women birth babies and their older female relatives help raise the babies. It is an ideal solution, it allows children to be born to women who are physically at their peak. Its healthier for the baby and the mother. At the same time, the children are being born into a family that has experienced mature adults who can assist the parents in the childrearing. It also means that a child is not dependent upon only its parents resources, but the pooled resources of the extended family.

I meant resources in the sense of MONEY , but lets extent that meaning to include wisdom, education, time and so forth.

While we may mock Laqueesha who gets knocked up and she and her baby live with her Mama and Big Mama, in many ways this is a better solution to teenaged parenthood than sending two inexperienced  American children out into the world expecting them to successfully rear children with only their resources. A household of multiple adults, in my opinion, is superior to one with only one or 2.

I hear that people are praising the Palins daughter for her decision to marry her baby’s father. Yet, considering how unlikely it is for a teenaged marriage to fail, I think leaving morality and Christianity aside, allowing the girl to remain unmarried until she meets an adult partner (because while I dont think teenagers are unable to parent, I do believe that a teenager will have a very hard time marrying and remaining married to te same partner for 50-60 years) and get herself educated and financially stable while under the protection of her parents.

If the girl and her baby’s father are still a couple, allow him to become part of the extended family. matrilocal societies do exist, let him move in. Hey, horse. barn door!! Yeah, I know thats so Jose and Maria and little Tito and Alexis. Parents grandchild and grandchilds unmarried parents.  How low class, immoral and base.

Im just thinking here, thats all. I cant imagine a black teenager being handled this way by the media. And I cannt help but think that the focus on getting the kids married, may be ignoring the fact that teenaged marriage may not be the best solution or choice of family structure in such situations.

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