Dear America,
I’m not trying to hate. I don’t know Sarah Palin, so I can’t really dislike her. I mean, they said she was a pitbull, but 2 husbands and my father said tell same of me. (2 were boasting, 1 complaining). I have no beef with women being barracudas and sharks. Its a tough world.
But you know, I’m irritated. I dislike being irritated because deep down in my core, I am a peaceloving placid sort of person. Just that my sense of justice and fairness sometimes keep me from being able to sit quietly and enjoy life.
Sarah Palin is a hero. Her pregnant daughter, a shining example of womanhood. She chose not to abort the child she conceived as an unmarried teen, and will soon marry the child’s father. Sarah Palin has balanced work and motherhood. Wow. Sarah Palin has a child with “special needs”.
(I prefer the term “extraordinary needs” as I believe all children’s needs are “special”.)
If that were me, there’d be no parade. My sister had a child at 16, she became a nurse (she delivers babys, how appropriate) and is working toward becoming a lactation consultant. Are the Republicans beating down my mothers door to praise her? Are they praising her having a child young as being evidence of her great love for children and her strong nurturing spirit? Nope.
Just another undesirable making babies no one wants.
Has anyone come to my house to ask me about how I balance things? I have children, I work. My oldest child is autistic.
My first husband and I divorced when my children were 5 and 3. The combination of youth and autism can be devastating to a marriage. Autism (or any disability) is no walk in the park.
So at the age of 27, I was on my own with 2 children. I had no job, no money and no car. It took me 6 months to get straight then I went back to college. For the first year, I had no car of my own. For the first 9 months, I had no daycare for the younger child. I borrowed my mothers car, friends cars and got rides to school.
Every morning I woke up, got my elder child off to school then walked 2 blocks to my mothers job, got her cardropped my other child off with whomever had agreed to babysit, went to class,picked up child, went home, then picked up my mother who deposited us back at my house.
Finally, I got the younger one in daycare. I was so broke I had to buy books for school using my bookcheck, get back in line and return them immediately so I could pay the daycare. I went without books the first month of classes.
My children’s schools were on different schedules, so they didnt have the same breaks and holidays. I went to school sick many times because I couldnt miss any days, I was already missing too many trying to manage when the kids were on spring break etc.
Once, in a 15 day 3 week school period, I had 12 meetings for IEPs and other Special Ed things. And, I was still a single mother struggling to finish school. When my courses were available only at night, I had a split schedule taking classs in the mornings and evenings, so I was only home with my children for an hour or so a day, they were alseep when I returned. My younger brother lived with me for a year or so, so he stayed home with them so I could go to class.
When the kids were sick, I had to study. When I was sick, I had to study. I spent many nights on the floor with pages and pages of code surrounding me, as I tried to stay awake and piece it all together.
C++ is not the easiest thing to study when sleep deprived.
And, I did. I got a degree in Computer Science. It almost killed me, but I did.
And when I was poor, struggling, bedraggled, tired did anyone rush to my defense? Nah. Did they praise me for my valiant efforts to mix parenthood and a career? I dealt with the same stigma most of us single non-white mothers deal with. To make it worse, I was blessed with good genetics and at the age of 32 I could still pass for a 17 year old. So not only did people think I was just some welfare queen taxpayer money sucking nonworking baby mama, they thought I had children VERY YOUNG, because I looked very young.
(I am 37 now and sometimes people do a double take when I say I have a 15 year old. It sort of takes the fun out of it, since I have to tell them my age so they don’t get too boggled. “So you were HOW old….”)
So you know, I’m trying my best to care about Sarah Palin. I am. But you know, she has a husband and money and her kid is disabled for sure, but only for 7 or so months. When she has done it for 15 years, alone with no money THEN I will praise her.
But I’m feeling sort of selfish. Until I get my parade, I cant cheer in hers.My own mother who was married and had 4 kids went to work sick and tired for YEARS, because having so many kids and a husband in the military meant she was doing it alone and couldn’t take time off when she was sick AND time off when we were. My friends who work 2 jobs and never see their kids and have to deal with the finger pointing and name calling if and when their children misbehave. Praise them for working and trying to do their best; don’t condemn them for being unattentive neglectful mothers.
So you know, I’m taking this moment for myself to be a bit petty and petulant. When my mother and sisters and friends and neighbors get the same treatement as Sarah Palin, then I will be thrilled for her. I will read the story in People and cry, awed at her strength and determination. Until then, I’m sure there are women out there as, if not more, deserving of some love,s upport and attention.
Sincerely,
Me
3 Comments
September 10, 2008 at 3:49 am
I don’t think it’s a question of whether to like or dislike Sara Palin. It’s the media that works at reducing serious issues into personalities. So, when one takes a critical look at her beliefs, values and the policies she supports, well, then it is clear: one dislikes her neo-con ideas and right wing moralistic values STRONGLY — that is, if one is justice-minded, peace-loving, and cares about Mother Earth, too. That she’s a single mom, or a woman, doesn’t change the fact that she is a 100% neoliberal pathological woman-unfriendly, environment-killing, evangelical white patriarchal god believing, militaristic momma who loves war machines and men’s war games.
September 10, 2008 at 10:16 pm
As a father of a girl with autism and a seizure disorder, I don’t think much about whether I like or don’t like Palin. But I do think about what a McCain-Palin administration would do for families like ours, vs. an Obama-Biden administration. Read my thoughts and others at http://www.specialneeds08.blogspot.com
September 16, 2008 at 7:41 pm
[...] Sarah Palin, the Hero? I’m not trying to hate. I don’t know Sarah Palin, so I can’t really dislike her. I mean, they said she was a pitbull, but 2 husbands and my father said tell same of me. (2 were boasting, 1 complaining). I have no beef with women being barracudas and sharks. Its a tough world. But you know, I’m irritated. I dislike being irritated because deep down in my core, I am a peaceloving placid sort of person. Just that my sense of justice and fairness sometimes keep me from being able to sit quietly and enjoy life. [...]